Cat Chat
by Chibis Unleashed
Summary: If Lelouch thought after stealing his helmet and running all over the school, Arthur was done tormenting him, he was quite sadly mistaken. Series of one-shots detailing the ways Arthur drives Lelouch mad.
1. Warning: There Be Cat Here

**Title: ****Cat Chat - Warning: There Be Cat Here**  
><strong>Series:<strong> Code Geass  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Lulu, Arthur, and guest appearance by Suzaku.  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG  
><strong>CommentsWarnings: **I firmly believe that the entire Vi Britannia family can communicate with cats. Yes, I do. No, you can't convince me otherwise. Why would you want to? Dedicated to my beloved.

I don't own them~

* * *

><p>"Nya!" went Arthur.<p>

Lelouch, who had been walking into the student council office stopped briefly and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Nya!" went the cat again.

"No," Lelouch replied, "I'm not going to talk to you." And then he turned away.

Arthur, the very stubborn cat he was, hopped off the table and trotted around the Britannian, coming up behind his right foot and rubbing his face into the boy's pant leg, "Nya~"

In response, Lelouch immediately jumped backward and away from the cat, again, "I want nothing to do with you! Go away! Do you have _any _idea how much trouble you caused me?"

Arthur very simply blinked, turned around to face him, and spoke again, "Nya."

"I don't _care _if it turned out okay!" Lelouch cried, "The fact of the matter is you had me running all around school and forced me to..." He trailed off suddenly then seemed to realize what he was doing, "No. I'm not going to talk to you."

If cats could smirk, Arthur would be. "Nya nya~" he said.

"That's my final—"

Lelouch stopped suddenly when Suzaku's head poked in through the doorway, expression clearly confused and eyes glazed with worry, "Lelouch... is there a reason you're meowing?"

The prince deigned not to answer his friend and instead glared, heatedly imagining fiery daggers, at the very _smug_ cat.


	2. A Cat's Thanks

**Title: Cat Chat – A Cat's Thanks**  
><strong>Series:<strong> Code Geass  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Milly, Arthur, and guest appearances by Lelouch, Suzaku, Rivalz, and Shirley.  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG – I'm pretty sure…  
><strong>CommentsWarnings: **For Mother's Day. Uploading now 'cause if I don't, I'll forget. I have two more of these things in the works, but if it doesn't come to me just right, I don't like letting anybody see it, so I have no idea when I'll finish and upload them. In the meantime, I guess it isn't just _Lelouch _that this cat torments…

I don't own them~

Milly's shriek echoed through the halls of the student council's base of operations. She couldn't help it. She hadn't been expecting that. Who _would _have been expecting the resident cat to trot on up to the conference table and drop a dead lizard on it?

She generally didn't mind lizards. Live ones, anyway. She could appreciate a nice reptile given proper warning. This one came with no warning, no beating heart, and on top of her paperwork. This, Milly could not appreciate.

She was probably going to have to burn the paperwork.

It was okay. The club could just re-submit.

"I apologize for the inconvenience, but the circumstances couldn't be helped. I hope you understand."

Because there was no way this paper was going into _her _filing cabinet after this.

And Arthur had been _so _well-behaved up until now…

She unceremoniously shoved the papers, dead lizard and all, at the nearest male, who happened to be Suzaku, with instructions to dispose of it. Then she turned on the cat with an alpha-male-worthy roar and chased him off the table, out of the room, and into the hall, all the while screaming instructions (Because Milly was particularly skilled at giving instructions) that the cat was _never _to bring another dead lizard into the council room again.

So she _really _hadn't been expecting the dead bird in her lap. How the cat had managed to get such a large animal past all of them, to the couch, and into her lap without being noticed was beyond her, and she would be sure to punish _someone _for it later, but right now all she could think to do was shriek.

She was going to have to burn this dress.

She liked this dress, too.

She didn't much like the bird.

Milly shot up from the couch and tore her dress off, depositing both Cat and Bird on the carpet without care. Suzaku politely averted his gaze. Lelouch blushed and held his book up higher. Rivalz stared with abandon until the dress was thrown over the top of his head with instructions to dispose of it. Shirley, forever understanding, was ready with an apron to replace it and within seconds Milly was chasing the cat between the couches, over the table, and out the door, with _firm _instructions never to bring a dead _animal, _of _any _kind, into the council room _ever _again.

So the opossum really threw her for a loop.

At least this time, Arthur had simply tossed it down on the carpet, which she was already considering replacing after the Bird Incident. And she was honestly confused about whether it was dead or playing dead, so there was some Reasonable Doubt that Arthur had outright disobeyed her. She was going to have to get extra-clever when it came to rules governing this cat, wasn't she?

None of that changed the feelings of frustration, disgust, or fear that surged through her. In a flash, she had a broom in hand and, with one fell swoop, had knocked both the opossum and cat back out into the hall. But that wasn't quite enough, (And to its credit, the opossum seemed to have figured that out and quickly scurried away through the slightly open front doors of the club house) because if that were enough, Arthur wouldn't keep repeating this mistake. So she chased the stubborn cat with her broom, careful not to do any real damage (mostly), lecturing the entire time about hygiene, rules, and thoughtfulness until he'd taken refuge above some cupboards. Milly finally abandoned her weapon and climbed up to retrieve the cat, which he let her do, and when she'd brought him down there was only one thing left to say.

The Student Council President eyed the feline reproachfully and admonished, "Arthur, if you want to keep calling this place home, you _have _to stop bringing animals back here. Dead or alive, reptile, bird, or mammal, _human _or otherwise," (She was beginning to believe this cat capable of anything), "You _cannot _drag them in here whenever you want!"

Arthur mewed understandingly, if a bit apologetically, so Milly let him back down to the floor and watched as he slunk away to do Cat Things.

Nunnally watched, too, and when she was sure he'd gone, she turned back to her friend, "Milly, he was only trying to wish you a Happy Mother's Day."

The blond president raised an eyebrow, then considered this with a finger or two on her chin, "Is _that _what it was?..."

The youngest of them nodded, "And he wanted to bring you a gift."

That snapped Milly back out of her thoughts, and with an aggravated gesture into the air, she exclaimed, "Well hasn't he ever heard of _flowers?" _


	3. Caramel

**Title: Cat Chat - Caramel**  
><strong>Series:<strong> Code Geass  
><strong>Characters:<strong> Lulu, Arthur, and Suzaku.  
><strong>Genre:<strong> Humor  
><strong>Rating: <strong>PG  
><strong>CommentsWarnings: **Obviously these won't be chronological or anything. Oo…

I don't own them~

"Ny_aaaa~" _Yawned a sleepy Arthur from within the cozy confines of Suzaku's arms. Of course the cat would be tired; not only was it late, but the cat tended to sleep for half the day, anyway. Lelouch stared at it, irritated.

…Though he was _supposed _to be staring at Suzaku, who had called him up to the roof for another important talk, theoretically, just for the sake of bouncing ideas off his genius friend.

"Some of my colleagues seem to think that the Emperor would ultimately disapprove of any Japanese revival, even on Britannian soil…" The Knight of Seven seemed to be rambling, in that purposeful, small-talk, 'I'm just trying to talk to you' sort of way, but Lelouch took it seriously regardless.

At least, the half of his brain that wasn't focusing on _the cat _took it seriously. The distracted half was glaring heatedly at the feline. And it was obvious.

Suzaku eyed Lelouch at his side, trying to look stoically out at the horizon for the effect, but failing with how he couldn't really be sure Lelouch was even _listening._

A curios Arthur lifted his head, "Nya?"

The Britannian's eyebrow twitched as Suzaku continued, "But in my few experiences with the Emperor, I've found he rather doesn't care what we do as long as we don't get in his way; and he seems to care more about Zero than Japan itself, anyway."

After a gentle pause, in which Lelouch seemed to realize it was his turn to speak, the Britannian replied, "I see."

Suzaku's gaze turned suspicious, as he was _sure _the great Zero would have more to say about the emperor not giving a damn over Japan than _that. _But his rational mind, which only showed itself on rare occasions, reminded him that Lelouch would have thought ahead and known the knight's expectations, and so this could simply be evading detection as always.

Arthur graced the two with his voice a third time, as if he was most definitely adding to the conversation, "Nya nya nya, nya!"

Did Lelouch just _growl?, _Suzaku thought, raising an eyebrow. Then lowering it when he realized he was showing an emotion other than anger. He pushed on, hoping to get a rise out of Lelouch that would reveal his secret, instead of just the fact that he hates cats, or maybe just Arthur.

"So I doubt I'll meet any resistance when I become Knight of One," Suzaku explained, "and reinstate what was Japan."

"That's nice." Lelouch promptly replied, which agitated the Japanese boy to no end, because it, for all intents and purposes, _proved _that Lelouch _was not listening._

"Nya nya" Went Arthur.

To be civil, Suzaku tried to keep his frustration out of his voice when he turned his body to face Lelouch and asked him kindly, "Do you understand, Lelouch?" One of the less insulting ways he could have gotten his friend's attention back.

But to no avail. Lelouch's eyes stayed trained on the cat as he flippantly supplied, "Of course."

Arthur batted a paw at Lelouch, which came back to rest possessively about Suzaku's wrist though the knight did not notice, "Nya nya nya~"

The Knight of Seven's brows furrowed, displeased and not at all placated by this utter negligence. And all for a cat! "I don't think you do…" He tried again.

Arthur began almost ranting in an obvious attempt at attention, constantly talking in a foreign, animal, tongue.

And Lelouch, on his part, did valiantly try to ignore it, finally lifting his eyes back up to Suzaku's and taking a deep breath so that he could talk over the racket, "I do, Suza—" But he didn't get very far at all.

Suddenly, he was shouting down at the cat, **"**He does _not _taste like caramel!"

A very pregnant pause followed, in which even Arthur was quiet. Except that while Lelouch was mortified and Suzaku was helplessly confused, Arthur looked pleased beyond words.

Suzaku, to whom it had sounded like a very angry, 'meow!', even forgot his malice for the moment, uttering an inquiring little, "Lulu?..." to make sure he was still sane.

Arthur, bored now, hopped out of Suzaku's arms and onto the roof's railing, lazily walking away.

When Lelouch found his voice again, bright red and swiftly composed, he was quick to assure the other, "I'm fine, Suzaku. I'm sorry. As you were saying?"

But Suzaku, a little creeped out, honestly, looked Lelouch over and wondered if perhaps there wasn't a reason Zero took days off. Was this what high-end strategy did to people? "Actually, I think you could do with some rest, Lelouch…" The knight tentatively supplied.

And Lelouch smiled, bringing a hand up to run through his hair and hold his head, pretending to be tired and amused by his friend's concern, when really he was just beside himself with relief for an excuse to get _away _from that _damn cat! _"Perhaps I could, Suzaku. We'll continue this another time?"

"We will, definitely." Suzaku smiled, but it never reached his eyes, as he turned away and headed back inside.

Lelouch stood there, staring at the roof access door for a second or two longer. By now Arthur had reached the corner of the building and was coming back, again, balancing neatly on the metal rail. Just as the cat arrived beside him, Lelouch turned and raised a threatening finger at it.

"And you're not allowed to try a taste of him, either!"


End file.
